A journey

My journey has a strange beginning. It begins with me watching television on a warm afternoon. I’m laying on the couch where the sun rays break through the curtains and hit my skin gently causing me to feel warm. I’ve stayed home from school today so everything is painfully quiet. Because it is during the week, I am all alone with the company of the television set. I am twelve years old and the series of events that will come next will change the trajectory of my life forever.

I flick through the channels and land on e.tv which is currently showcasing a special coverage of the inauguration of the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls. I see the girls smiling in their green uniforms. They wear faces of happiness like I’ve never seen before. I see a couple of celebrities talking about the school the school and what it means for women’s education in South Africa. Then finally, the benefactor, the woman who has made this all possible appears on the television screen saying how amazing a day it is for her and these girls. 

A lump forms in my throat. I have this burning desire to be one of those girls. I can almost taste their happiness. I can imagine myself walking the quad of the beautiful academy. I feel the school pulling me through the television screen, it calls my name and the burning desire to be one of those girls is born inside of me. I too want to be a leader although I don’t really understand the fundamentals of leadership yet. I want to stand at podiums and recite speeches like the girls I have seen on TV from the school have done. I want so badly to come to this school that I can almost cry.

I greedily absorb all the information I can find about the school. I put my newspaper clippings into a file with a face of Oprah on the outside. I suppose this is my first encounter with ambition. I have found a dream and I am going to stick to it. My heart is invested in the school. All I do is think about it. I don’t even know what it is that pulls me to the school. All I know is that I would love to go there and be one of those girls.

I tell my mom about my desires and while she thinks they are exciting and amazing, I can see it in her eyes that she thinks I am being unrealistic. She doesn’t say this to me however and she tries her best to encourage me. Then one day I write a letter and address it to Oprah herself. I tell her of my burning desire to come to the school, I tell her about my favourite activities and attach my school reports.

My mother mails the letter to the school and my reply comes in the form of application forms. 

I can almost die of joy.  I fill these forms in and I attach all my sincerest twelve year old girl prayers. God seems to like my prayers very much because I am called for a first round of interviews. I am nervous beyond belief and I say all my prayers again, this time asking God to guide me.  He listens and I get called for a second round of interviews and tests. 

On the 30^th of November 2007 my mother receives a call which makes her shout a big whoop which I can hear from outside. She tells me I have been accepted at the school with tears of disbelief and complete joy in her eyes. 

I am shocked beyond my ability to respond and I can feel my tears moisten my cheeks. I know that this is the hand of God at work. I receive an acceptance letter to the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls and my life will never be the same again.

I am moving to a new address. I will continue the rest of my address there. Thank you for reading and sharing this wonderful experience with me. I will post occasionally but I feel the time to move has come. My new site is still under construction so I will post the URL in the next few days. Thank you so much yet again.

Love and blessings to you

-These are the makings of a woman 

Mercy, grace and love

I have pondered these three words. I have come to now their power and significance in my journey to womanhood.

Perhaps I have never shared before that I am a christian. The reason for that has never been known to me, perhaps now is a good time to share it. Maybe God had not willed it so until now and the reasons for that are known to him alone. if you are still reading stay with me please, I only ask for a moment of your time.

Often, when someone identifies themselves as Christian people usually stop listening, or they lose interest. The reasons for that are many. Firstly some people view Christians as judgmental people who think they are far better than everyone else because of their Christianity. Christians assume a "holier than thou" mentality and that chases people away instead of inviting them.

I will attest to this, in fact i wasn't any different until recently. In fact I too judged people (even though secretly) while I did the exact same things I judged them for. Perhaps even worse.

Then it hit me, we "Christians" have managed to single handedly tarnish the reputation of Christianity. we have managed to chase people away from God instead of inviting them to God. To put it bluntly most of us have failed to fulfill our mission of spreading the gospel for its truth.

As I said, the same was true for me too until I was introduced to mercy, grace and love.

Allow me to introduce them to you too.

Mercy is an amazing friend of mine. although having only met her recently, I have grown very fond of her. We spend a lot of time together and getting to know her has moved me to tears because I simply cannot believe how amazing she is. let me tell you a bit about her, Mercy is kind and loving. She is forgiving and compassionate. Mercy is patient and she keeps no record of wrong. When I spoke to her i asked her many questions one of which was where she has been all along. Where was she when I needed her most? where was she when I felt like the world as I knew it was unraveling from the core?

Her answer was simple, as all of her answer are. she said to me "I have always been there beside you, you just never let me in. you denied yourself of my presence. I am very gentle. I never force myself on to anyone"

Her answer moved me to tears as I thought of how many of us push Mercy aside because we feel we are not deserving of her?

We are so brutal with ourselves. we are unforgiving and unkind to ourselves. We keep record of all the bad things we do and no matter how much good we can do, we struggle to hold onto it. We lock ourselves in prisons of guilt and shame.

We refuse to let Mercy in. Why? Because we are so harsh with ourselves.

But who are we to deem ourselves unworthy of Mercy's friendship when God, the author of life has so lovingly deemed us worthy? How dare we subject ourselves to such torment that we refuse to have our debts forgiven.

Mercy is forgiveness, she is always by our side but we refuse to welcome her into our lives. We ask for forgiveness yet when forgiveness arrives we refuse to accept it.

I too was unforgiving of myself. I treated myself harshly and locked myself in prisons of guilt and shame. But I found Mercy, rather I let her in. I accepted her into my life. Things have never been the same since! It is so tiring holding on to guilt. It is emotionally and physically draining.

So I challenge you to let go of all the hate, and shame you have against yourself. I urge you to let it all go and allow Mercy to enter your life. Once you feel her compassion and touch you will realise that life will be so much better, so much easier.

I just ask that you try to forgive yourself.

I have found a friend, her name is Mercy and I would be honored to share her with you.


I will tell you more about my other friends; grace and love.

May the spirit of the Lord be with you. Love and blessings to you and yours.

These are the makings of a woman

-Busi (and Mercy =D )